Sweet Little Child

Benjamin has been a huge helper this week. I was in my first car accident as an adult, where I had to deal with all the mess, and he has let me rest and recover like a trooper. He asks me how I'm doing, and tells me he's sorry I was in a car crash. Yesterday he wrote a letter to our foster child asking him to come back and play with him. It breaks my heart. He told me today that "we have to pray to adopt". I don't know what I did to deserve such a selfless, loving, and intelligent little boy. He even bought me a Christmas present today, one that he picked out and is keeping secret.

He's still busy and silly. He loves to spin in circles and fall down with dizziness. He loves to sit on laps, and is rarely still enough to even watch a movie. Today he wanted to do "Toy" school, and brought puppets to my room and put on a puppet show.

Benjamin is convinced that we will adopt for Christmas, and is concerned that we haven't bought his brother and sister any presents. It is so hard to explain to a four-year-old that we do not control this.

I have found some blogs that embody what I want to become, and that has been great. I also have a seasonal job at Bath and Body Works. This will be my 5th Holiday working there, and I really do enjoy it. It is nice to have the extra income, with all of our winter birthdays. I also enjoy getting out of the house, and having a different set of demands placed on me now and then.

I have been really sore from the accident for the past few days, and Damon has taken over meals, cleaning, and all lifting. He's really a trooper, and I can always count on his help. I love that I don't even have to ask most of the time. I know it is stressful and hard for him to come home and have to do more work, but he rarely complains, and he's so sweet to help me out. We would all be lost without him.

Christmas is just a few weeks away, and I am trying to get as much done now as possible, so when my work schedule increases I won't be stressed. I still haven't figured out the Christmas card thing, but I am determined that this year I will send a Christmas card out, as I haven't quite gotten that done in the past. I was called to be the Ward Choir Director, and I have also had the task of putting together a Christmas program that will be performed in four weeks. It is a little nerve racking, but we had our first rehearsal on Sunday, and I think it will work out. I love the holidays, the music, the gifts and secrets, the food, and the decorations. I guess it's a good thing that I am a Christmas baby, and so is Benjamin. He is just starting to get into the gift giving, and to recognize the importance of Santa Clause. It will make this year fun. We also get to go to Opportunity Village next week, and that will be a great family activity. There is always so much to do this time of year, that it is hard to choose, but we love to be busy and exploring, so that is also a great thing for our family. I am working hard on enjoying the moments and not allowing myself to get overwhelmed. I am also trying hard to plan ahead. We'll see how it works.

Halloween is Benjamin's favorite holiday. He dressed up in several costumes, relished the trick-or-treating for weeks, and has so much candy I don't think it will ever be eaten. He loves to be scared, and jumps out of corners and doorways. He loved the decorations, and he cried when I took them down. Hopefully he'll find the same joy when we decorate for Christmas. I think he just likes to decorate. It took a long time for us to convince him that Halloween was over. He still dresses up as a Transformer, astronaut, and Star Wars character regularly. He's becoming an expert at pretending and story telling, and I love how creative he is becoming. There is always more that I want to do with him, or teach him, but he learns and grows even without my help, and that is such a blessing some days.

For his birthday we'll have a Transformers theme, and he wants to ask Santa for a Nintendo DS. He talked to Grandma on the phone about birthdays, Christmas, and "Toy School" for about 20 minutes today. I love his chatter, even when it is overwhelming at times. We are so blessed to have such a happy, healthy little miracle child. Adoption is hard, and we have worried a lot about how Benjamin would handle it. I think he is more prepared than I am. He loves other children, and he loves to share. He wants nothing more than to share his world with a sibling, and that makes me so happy and sad all in one. I would love to give him everything he desires, especially this, but we are all learning to wait and be patient. I don't know what I would do without my sweet little Benjamin.