Happy Valentine's Day

My sweetheart left me poetry on mirrors and messages all around the house. I love surprises like that!  Benjamin thought the holiday was so great that he was making Valentines to hand out today. It was sad when he found out that we only get to celebrate for one day.

On Sunday Benjamin ran into a cabinet and managed to split his lip, gash his face, and bruise his chin. He does a spectacular job and came into choir where we were all covered in blood. It freaked a few people out, but fortunately the damage was mostly superficial. He was hysterical for a while, and insists that he stay with us during choir in the future so that he doesn't get hurt. Oddly Damon and I handle emergencies and accidents well, and while concerned, we're both sure he'll want to play next week when he gets the chance. The best part of the incident was when he asked if he could go back and play once he got cleaned up. :) He only got upset when he saw his face in the mirror.

I've been asked to play the organ in church, and the bishop says I can have a key to the church so I can practice. I am excited to learn how, and a little nervous. I've done it before, but I live in a very talented ward. I've been told I worry about what people think too much, but it's hard not to when you have to play and perform regularly. I love teaching though, and I work to improve my talents, so I'll just have to have faith that my efforts are enough.

I am going back to school, again, in April. I am 1 year into my Master's program, and by the end of the next school year I should be ready for an internship. It is rather exciting.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful day full of surprises and love. I love celebrations, and it is great to have a child that gets into the spirit of all the holidays! He's already getting ready for Easter and St. Patrick's Day.

Mom is in Charge

Tonight Benjamin chose Dad to say the prayers. Benjamin is a typical only child, and has lately become quite bossy. So, Dad tried to explain that, while he would still pray, he was in charge and got to choose. Benjamin looks at me and whispers, "no, you're in charge." So therefore Mom is in charge.

On a happy note I feel good for the first time in days. I have a pharmacy of drugs, and I can breathe. Benjamin and I have officially weathered the never ending cough. Hopefully we've also prevented Damon getting it.

On a sad note, I had to stop working with my autistic student. He needs someone reliable, and his mom is going to have a baby in September. With my health problems, I'm not the person that can be counted on. I am really sad, because I LOVE the job. On the up side we can spend those evenings going to the Temple, and attending all the functions that occur on Fridays. Maybe sometime I will be the person that can be counted on.

I am working on making new friends. Moving and being sick have severely limited my friend base, and so it needs attention. I admit that I struggle with this aspect of human relationships. It has been suggested that maybe I don't get to spend my time working with children so I can learn to be better with adults. I'll have to find a book and learn how. I am great at casual friendships, but when it comes to forming lasting bonds, I tend to select a handful of people. I know I am not alone in this, pardon the pun, but it would be nice to be good at making friends. I know many who are, and I greatly admire that talent.

Chronic Illness

This blog was initially set-up so birth mothers could come to our site and learn more about our family, in the hopes that we would be chosen to adopt their child. I have struggled with the concept of revealing too much information for years, but since I never learn . . . I am going to use this as a forum to also discuss the ups and downs that our family has.

I have fibromyalgia, asthma, and celiac sprue. It means that I can't eat most of the good foods out there, am tired and sore a lot, and have trouble breathing when I finally work up the energy to exercise. It isn't fun, but as my doctor's have frequently pointed out, it also will not kill me.

Benjamin also has asthma, and seems to benefit from a gluten free diet. Damon is allergic to milk, which really gets annoying. Many families have a gluten free/casien free diet because of autism, ours just happened to work out that way.

I don't like being sick, and have hid it, complained about it, fought it, and ignored it. My current goal is to accept it. In a book I love called Feel the Fear . . and Do It Anyway the concept of how we experience life came up. I experience life as a sick person. It is the perspective of a victim, and a martyr, and I hate it. It's time for that to change, except today I have a good old fashioned cold, and would really like someone to take care of me.

I spent the last month fighting doctors to test me for things because they thought my illness was stress based. I've had more medical procedures and tests than I can count, and I have really bad genetic tendencies. I'm in pain a lot, and I have made others around me miserable at times because that it how I felt, and I didn't know better. I hope I know better now. Today I will rest and recover. Tomorrow I will try again.

New Year

I do not publish this blog easily. I am not a writer, nor do I have a large following, but I do want to share my life with family and friends, and sometimes it's easier than others.

I got sick and have remained that way. I've had an amoebic infection, and now a terrible cold. Most of December was another bout of multiple tests, and really was no fun. We did get to spend a lot of time with my family, and that was a bonus. Now it is a new year, and so much has happened, it's almost impossible to summarize. Benjamin is in Kindergarten, we moved, and now live in a nice rental home. Our old car died and we got a new one, I spent a lot of time sick in bed, and now it is February. I will follow the path of others and strive to update weekly, with the goal of updating daily. Maybe I'll find something in my life that others wish to share.