Sick and Benjamin's teeth.

I have a cold, Benjamin just recovered from bronchitis, and Damon is starting to cough like Ben and I did.  We hoped that Damon would get his pin and other mechanics out of his finger yesterday, but were dismayed to find out that we have to wait at least two more weeks. I am bummed. If that is a good word. I want my husband to be whole and able to help like he could before his injury. Pain and discomfort also makes him grumpy, and that has made the last couple of weeks a little hard. I understand pain making you grumpy. I also understand what it is like to have a pin in your bones, as my elbow was pinned when I was 10. It isn't fun. I sympathize, but I don't feel good, and I need him to step in where I can't right now. It is hard that we are all sick together. Hopefully we'll all be better by Christmas.

I have some great secret presents that I was able to find at amazing deals online. It makes getting ready for Christmas a lot more fun. Benjamin has settled on what he wants, and we have some surprises that he will love. Tomorrow is his official birthday. He will be 7. I need to come up with something fun for the actual day. His party was awesome and fun, but I want to celebrate the day too. He has weathered a lot with us this year, and has been a major trooper. He struggles when I am sick, or Dad is hurt. He has dealt with babysitters, upsets in schedules and routines, and a mostly absent mother for most of the year. I feel guilty and want to help him feel better. On the other hand, he has learned and matured a lot this year. We are a little concerned about him. He is always moving and busy. I want to have him checked for hyperactivity as I think his behavior is interfering with his ability in school. He is really smart, but rushes through his work and makes mistakes. I would prefer not to medicate him, but I don't know if that is set in stone. I want him to be successful. I think lately I've become a helicopter parent. I need to work on that.

Benjamin had his teeth sealed yesterday. His molars were starting to develop cavities and so the dentist drilled the damaged enamel away and then put in seals. Our dentist is the best and will help us afford the seals, while also being available to do the seals that day so the cavities wouldn't get worse and Benjamin wouldn't need to be medicated and undergo a more painful procedure. Benjamin was a great sport. He was really wiggly, but endured it well. The dentist compared it to painting a puppies tail. Benjamin is also really close to losing his two top front teeth before Christmas. One is over half out, the other should follow shortly. We're trying to convince him to let us pull the tooth out despite the pain it may cause. So far he isn't buying it.

So birthdays, Christmas, teeth, and pins in hands are the sum of our week along with my cold. It isn't super exciting, but it is our life, and I love its simplicity.

Birthdays and Craft Fairs

Ben's birthday party was yesterday. He turns 7 on Friday, but we celebrate early because December is always crazy. he had a Star Wars theme, and we had lots of party goers, which was great. Following his party we went to a craft fair to promote Damon's products. We didn't make a lot of money, which was not fun, but we put ourselves out there, and we're starting to get a feel for what people want, and how much they will pay, which is great.

Both Damon and I are exhausted. It's strange because when I get overly stressed I don't sleep at night, which makes the days doubly hard. I am super sore all over, and my hands shake a LOT. My handwriting has been horrible this weekend because of the stress of Saturday. I woke up shaking this morning, and am worried that I might have another flare-up, but I'm hoping it was just a bad day.

It is hard to accept that the MS is permanent. It doesn't go away, or really get better. There are days when it is worse, but not days when it is cured or gone. Slowly this disease will progress and I have to accept the loss that will happen so gradually others may not even notice.

I tried to play the piano for choir today, and because my hands were shaking so much it was really hard, and what used to be easy seemed so difficult. I hate that the most about the hands shaking.

My sister had her baby. He is healthy and happy, and we are thrilled for them.

I am working on starting an additional blog through wordpress. I have to figure out how to work it, but it will be titled MS stole my brain, which seem appropriate. My recent review with doctors to determine my SSD benefits demonstrated just how much my memory has been altered by MS. I keep lists of everything, and have to have people repeat things a lot so that I can remember. Recently, Damon will tell me something, and i know he is talking, but i have no idea what he just said.

Benjamin is challenging us. After the holidays we will have him evaluated. He cries a lot, and seems ot require constant noise and movement. I talked to my therapist about it, and he suggested that i read the book The Difficult Chiild. Benjamin has been so active since birth, and parenting him while sick or in pain is extremely difficult. I remember days when I would lay there and cry and pray that someone would come and help me with him. I would call my mom and ask for help, and she didn't understand that I just couldn't keep up with him. He has tons of energy, and wants constant attention and talks incessantly. I love him to death, but when you are exhausted, in pain, or otherwise incapacitated, having a busy child can be really hard. On the upside, he has learned to be really independent because i cannot always do for him what he needs. We keep on hand foods he can make himself, or snack on easily and he'll feed himself as needed. He doesn't sleep at all during the day, but he is great about bedtime. I wish he'd take naps, but he's so busy bouncing from one thing to the next that i don't know if he can slow down to do so. I wouldn't label him as ADD or ADHD, but I would say that he lots of energy, and needs lots of stimulus. We talked a lot about ignoring problem behaviors and thus denying him stimulus, and the additional need to help him learn to self soothe in socially appropriate manners. I love that I have a therapist who will treat my whole family, and who I can trust completely. It took me several tries, and a lot of grief to find someone that I connect with, but he has been invaluable in helping me come ot terms with the diagnosis that i have been given over  time.

Damon isn't feeling well, but he gets his pins out on Wednesday, which will be a huge relief to everyone. He'll still need to be careful and let it heal, but no more pin sticking out of his finger will lower my stress/yuck factor a lot. He'll also be in less pain, which will make him less grumpy. He's been super grumpy, and easily angered this week due to the pain and the stomach issues he's experiencing due to the overuse of antibiotics and a flare of his C.diff infection.

People say I should become a doctor because between Damon and I, I have learned a lot about medicine. I would love to, but don't have the strength for grueling internships and the like. I would mostly lovet o become an herbalist/homeopathic practitioner. I think there are a lot more options for chronic illness in that area than in regular medicine, and I could do more good. I'm going to focus a lot of my future research on that.

Well it is late, and once again, way past my bedtime. So goodnight all.

More fun giveaways.

I found this awesome giveaway/product review. It's for candles that have rings in them. I would love to offer this to my readers.

I will be entering this through this site here:

If you are interested, join me, or follow my blog to see what my candle produces.

Bucket List

There is a contest to create a bucket list. So here is mine.

Multiple sclerosis slowly causes deterioration of your brain, and eventually it will kill me. Before that happens there are several things that I want to do.

1. Adopt another child - my son needs a sibling, and we would love at least one more child to have and to hold.
2. Visit Europe. Before I got sick, I was going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Munich Germany and Austria. I never made it, but I will get there someday. My husband served a mission in Spain, and we would love to go, see his old stomping grounds, and visit the places that I missed.
3. Go to Disneyland, a lot. I love Disneyland, my family went there a lot when I was a kid and I want to share that with my son.
4. Make a difference. I want to blog, and share my journey in the hopes that it will help my family, those that have similar issues, and any others who might be interested. I was going to work with children with autism and raise a large family, but things change. This is my new goal. I am flexible that way. :)
5. Make my family financially stable. Medical bills are death to finances, and before things get too bad I want to be debt free and have substantial savings to protect my family for the eventual time when I will need advanced care. I'm not sure how to do this, but I will figure it out.
6. Finish my Master's Degree. I was in the middle of a degree in counseling and marriage and family therapy, but had to drop out due to health concerns. I would like to go back and finish, if only to say I did it, it also may help me to fulfill #4.
7. Leave a legacy - We always here about the sick or injured people that were an inspiration to everyone around them. I want to be that person. I'm not now, but it's a good goal.
8. Raise my son. I want to raise my son to be an active and productive member of society. To see him married and to meet my grandbabies.
9. Share my faith. It is the most important thing in my life, and I would share it with anyone who wants to hear.
10. Love my husband. He is my rock, my life and my all. I want to make his life happy and as easy as possible.
11. Buy an American Girl Doll. I don't have a daughter, but I love the dolls, and someday I will get one just for fun.
12. Learn to paint.
13. Write a book about our life. I want it to be funny, and I'm not very good at funny. I'm great at scientific, but funny is better.
14. Read 5000 books. I love to read. My Dad said it isn't possible. I'm out to prove him wrong.
15. Celebrate everyday - there is a lot in life that is hard. I want to learn to celebrate all the little happy things, and to share that with those around me.
16. Own a Smart Phone - it's frivolous, but it would be so much fun.
17. See the Broadway play Wicked.
18. Grow things. I love flowers, but I tend to kill plants. I want to learn to garden, even in the desert.
19. Become an herbalist, or natural health practitioner. There is so much about medicine that we don't understand.
20. Learn to craft and sew. There is something magical about creating things with your hands, even if those hands shake and aren't quite the same.

There are many more things that I would love to do with my life. But this seems like a good place to start. I love to be busy and doing and multiple sclerosis has really slowed me down. I can't do the things i had planned with my life, so I am adjusting and learning new things. My mom suggested that maybe this will allow me to discover a great talent or gift. I believe that there is purpose for all things. Hopefully my gift can help others. I am home all day. The internet is now my vehicle for interacting with others and making an impact. I have a sweet son, and a loving husband. I have the support of family and friends, and every Sunday i get to play with the littlest members of our Church. While life has it's hard moments. I have never been more at peace. What is your bucket list? What would you do if your life was changed, or you knew time was short? My priorities are all focused around families, memories, making a legacy/difference, and enjoying the little things. I would not be focused on that if I had not been diagnosed with MS. Life changes quickly. Don't let it slip by.

Blog Giveaways

I am looking to improve and become a "serious" blogger. One way I'm doing this. I am joining a blog hop giveaway hosted here:
It will take place January 10-17

I am super excited. I will be giving away creations made by my fantastic and amazing husband. I will also be reviewing and promoting products that my family uses.

In addition I will be writing daily about topics centered around health, MS, parenting with chronic illness, general health and wellness, finances and medical problems and anything else that I can come up with. I hope to also review a minimum of one book a week. If there is ever anything that you want to know, learn or hear about, just comment.